2020 / March

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts.

She Don’t Use Jelly by The Flaming Lips

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

This week I’ve taken up the challenge from a friend to reflect on one of our favourite songs from when we used to go clubbing. It has some strange and comical lyrics yet reminds me of one of the greatest paradox’s in life; that we can find meaning and joy in the bizarre, mundane and unexpected.

The song is She Don’t Use Jelly by The Flaming Lips and as well as always getting us on the dance floor, it acts as a great reminder of the resourcefulness and uniqueness of human behaviour. Working with people I get to see just how quirky and eccentric we as humans can be. And seeing this in others always helps me to see just how quirky and eccentric I can be too. I find this useful as it helps me to understand that my behaviour, like everyone else’s, is often far from ‘normal’, or perhaps to use a more accurate set of words; far from standard, unconditioned or logical.

Take the acts of the characters in the song; I know a girl who thinks of ghosts and I know a guy who goes to shows. Which of these is ‘normal’? Well I guess it depends on who you ask, and for the matter, when and where you ask them. For example, we might not want to admit some of our beliefs in certain places. And similarly, we might only share our hobbies with people who we feel might see them as socially acceptable.

But the acts of the characters in the song are not only unique, and far from robotic mundane responses, but also wonderfully creative:

She’ll make you breakfast … toast. She don’t use butter … cheese … jelly … She uses Vaseline.

When … he blows his nose, he don’t use tissues … his sleeve … napkins … He uses magazines.

Perhaps not normal solutions to the ‘problems’ faced by the characters but certainly inventive. And it is this which I think unlocks the songs potential to support our wellbeing. All of us have our own interests and motivators, and them making sense to us rather than others is what counts. Further, all of us need to look to solution and actions in life which are available to us and meet our needs and requirements. So, the things we do to support our wellbeing need to be solutions which work for us and we find captivating.

So, if you prefer to use a magazine to wipe your nose. Why not? It’s recycling after all. And Vaseline instead of jelly? Well if it doesn’t hurt you, it’s at least making use of your resources. ‘Cause even in the seemingly bizarre, mundane or unexpected we can often be motivated, not to copy the actions of others, but explore and discover the quirkiness of our own unique individuality. And surely this helps us to build our wellbeing. Other than that, it’s a cracking good song which will make you smile, so what’s not to like.

Need some help uncovering your quirky side? Why not consider booking an appointment with the author, Dr Dave Wood?

PS … Thankyou once again to Mr Stevie Tye for this week’s song choice. If you’d like to choose a song, then please get in touch.Book an appointment

Taken from the album:

Author

hello@realigncoaching.co.uk
Providing innovative, high quality community life coach training and professional, social skills and wellbeing workshops at an affordable cost. Dave is a former Senior Probation Officer, now founder and director of Metanoeo CIC, Realign Coaching and Theolotweet Academy. He also lectures in Psychosocial Analysis and Community Wellbeing and is a community life coach and trainer. Dave holds a BA in Bible and Theology, BA(Hons) in Community Justice, MA in Criminal Justice and PhD in Theology. He is a member of the Association for Coaching, a Fellow of the School for Social Entrepreneurs, a Fellow of the Higher Education Academy and also a community member of Forum Housing Association.

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